Have you ever hit rock bottom? Have you ever drop fifty levels below rock bottom? Do you know what real sadness is? I hope you don’t and never will. I can honestly say I have never been happy a day in my life. The first time I told someone this they told me it was impossible and for a while I started to believe it may have been all in my head.
Unfortunately I was right and i have never been happy. I have tried to fake it but that only makes me more depress. I have taught about suicide but thats not for me. I might be sad but I am not weak. I have lived for over thirty years without love, happiness or family.
I have to give thanks though as life could have been very worst. I learned from a young age to pay attention to all around me and keep very vigilante. I think I grew up too fast, in fact I don’t remember having a happy childhood. Shit I don’t remember having a childhood at all.
I started smoking weed at the age of twelve and hanging with gang members at about the same time. The lord has protected me all this time and i thank him. It may be hard to believe but my life is threaten up to five times every year and not from what you might call life happenings. I am not a gang member and have never been but that does not stop random “GANGSTERS” believing that my life is some sort of prize to acquire. I really don’t know why I am still alive, it does not add up to me. I went on the road four days ago to the store and was kidnapped by some guys that told me I was snitching and it was my last day alive. I hate cops, sorry to say this but it is the truth. they have tried to kill me before because I saw things I shouldn’t. I don’t snitch simply because I don’t trust cops.
I am still alive though and don’t know why. I know I should be dead but I guess faith has something else in mind for me and my life. With all that said I am an outcast in my country, my community and my family I am alone. I am sad but there are people out there that are going through a lot more difficult lives than what I am experiencing. I have been sad for a long time and I don’t believe I will ever be happy but I am too much the person that I am and i can’t see someone else sad and not try to help them.
I will try has hard as I can to help the people that are as sad as I am. I will not be beaten by sadness when there are people that need help and I believe that I can. Visit my shop “why2” you might find a t-shirt or some other trinket that says exactly what you are thinking.